Posted by: karenevoss | November 9, 2013

Music Series Part 7: Wake Me Up

“All this time I was finding myself and I didn’t know I was lost”. -Wake Me Up, Avicii

Life has a distinct way of showing us light in darkness. Without darkness appearing in our lives, we would never know how to reach visible light.

When my journey started I could only see darkness. I didn’t know light existed and if I had, I wouldn’t have known how to reach it. I wanted to work through the darkness, but I found myself stuck and not knowing the direction I could choose.

Essentially, I found myself wondering and not of a physical nature. I tried to figure out what would become of me. Where would I go? What would I do? Who am I? I learned to discover myself. It’s like the song, “Find Yourself” by Brad Paisley, from the movie Cars, Lightning McQueen finds himself lost, but gets awakened to the new life and friends right in front of him. My journey led me to branch out and meet lots of new people and programs that are now an integral piece my life. Between the healing parts and people of my wellness team and Higher Brain Living (which started with one of my wellness team introducing me to the program) my options in life are wide open. I learned to discover who I really am, the I AM in myself.

 

By attending three Authentic Self~Kosmic Consciousness retreats and one “To Know Yourself retreat” in Yogaville, I’ve learned how knowing the I AM can better my life. I’ve done a great deal of healing from grief and lingering symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I found my passion for writing and in spring 2014, my book That’s All I Got; Thrival: A Widow’s Journey After Suicide, gets published. Yes, I AM an author. A huge accomplishment, a great step forward into a writing career.

I am constantly introducing my journey to other people who get inspired and can in turn help the next person. It’s sometimes difficult to open up about what’s happened in my life, but other times telling strangers comes easily. I have worked through a few of my big fears and yet, I still have triggers that stir up emotions and anxiety. My goals involve making them all one day disappear.

I didn’t know how lost one can feel until tragedy struck. Even today as someone told me I’m strong, I wondered if I am and I know I am. Almost five years later and I am waking up “older and wiser”.

At the end of 2013, this chapter of the journey ends and I start the next chapter. I am working on figuring out what the next chapter entails, but in the meantime, my I Am-my big Self-my conscious self knows what to do and how to get there.

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